Another sleepless night for me, and somehow instead of trying to sleep I am here. Writing. I do not have a clue of what I am writing about this morning, but I do know my heart is heavy. People I love are struggling, some things are changing, and it leaves me here. Still writing. David wrote when he was sad, hurt, and betrayed. He wrote in the good times and the bad times, but over and over again He still praises the Lord. So, I have just been reading in the Psalms this morning. I have a lot of favorite ones, but here are a few I have read that I would like to share.
“And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.” Psalms 39:7
“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalms 16:11
“Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge.” Psalms 16:1
“But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me.” Psalms 55:16
David put his trust in the Lord and only the Lord. I do not think I have David’s life of running from someone who wants to kill me and such, but I can relate to him. A year ago, Rose asked us girls to write our own Psalm like David. So I did. Before I share it with you I want to tell you about Rose. She loves me very much just ask her. I may or may not have a fish named after her. Ok, I do. We share the same birthday, we seriously may have the same nose, she talks me off cliffs, and still puts up with me and all my randomness. There is a lot of that goin on if you have not picked up on that by now. I chase more than rabbits that is for sure. See, I did it again. Ok ok. Back to the psalm challenge. I was reading it earlier this morning, and I cried and smiled and cried and smiled some more. It showed me that even in the hardest places the Lord wins. This was written on May 18, 2017, and I was in such a different place.
My heart is overwhelmed and I cry out. God, do you hear me? Can you see me? Am I here alone, because sometimes the pain is unbearable.. it’s so far down deep no one can reach. Will I forever stay this way? Will you speak to me louder than the lies I hear?? I wait in silence for your reply. And as your heart meets mine I can’t help but see a different light. A light so bright shining your glory down from Heaven and as I sit all I can say is this is my King. This is my Father. This is my redeemer. Thank you for your light that shines on my darkness. When I call to you you do not hide from me. You come running as a Father to His child. You have become my place of safety my place I hide. For in you I find rest. I find reassurance. I find life. For apart from you my joy is never complete, and my hope is lost. Who is this that calls me His? And who am I to call Him mine? I am no one. But He is everything. And because of that things seem a little sweeter. Oh Lord, take me from this dark place, but only if you move with me. I do not want to move without you. If it means staying then I will stay because I know that freedom is coming. So, in this valley let your river flow, flood me with your peace, and lead me to the way that is forever. I know you hear me and I know you see me and I will wait patiently for your rescue. Praise the Lord for who He is because of who He is I am who I am… A daughter of the King.
A lot has changed since that day, but it still rings true He is my place of safety, where I hide. And I can rest in knowing I am who I am because of who He is. Paul told me yesterday in Philippians whatever happens rejoice in the Lord. Whatever happens. I am taking him up on this today. I don’t know what my whatever’s will be, but I know I will have them. And in those moments I will praise the Lord because that, my friend, is what keeps me going day to day. I guess I should go open the place up now, but before I leave here I just want to say something. It is ok to not be ok. It is. You do not have to have it all together. But let someone in the not ok today. Because that is really ok.
And there goes the rabbit…