I think my pup is trying to tell me he needs his own clothes basket. I am not the dog whisperer. In fact, I speak loudly to JD because he has a hard time hearing. No whispering involved whatsoever. He probably just chooses not to hear most days, anyway. And do not worry, those towels are clean. Well, they were clean. Yes, I shaved him. I mean, well I did not personally. I am not a dog groomer either and I am lacking much talent in that department. So, I took him to some place down the road, and he loved it. He barked at every dog who entered and also the dog statue that was apparently too still for him. JD has a problem. He has a big head and thinks that everyone including cats should love him and play with him. And the dog in the mirror well let’s just say that if he could get his teeth on him it would not be pretty. He is a very smart dog, but he has his moments and when he sees himself in the mirror is one of those special times I shake my head and wonder where he came from.
If I am honest, I do the same thing though. (No, not barking at dogs!) Except the difference is I know who that person is looking at me. And yet, I still say hateful things, and look at every flaw like God did not make me. But He did. It says so in Psalm 139 which we all love that He made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. (I was blessed enough to be knit together with a womb mate.) I am about to get very um what is the word? Real? Raw? Maybe one of those fit. For just a minute I would like to sit down, grab a pillow, and throw my feet up with you and discuss how to change the world. But since I have limited time, and Jesus already changed the world by entering it and standing in our place. It should have been me. It should have been my stains, my scars, my sins, but because of Jesus I am declared flawless. You are, too. Here I go again off course chasing the rabbits so I will pull myself back in by saying this:
Abuse sucks and healing is hard
Yeah, I am going there, because I want to show you something and I want to speak to the ones whose heart just started beating fast. You are worth it, I promise. I am worth it. And can I just say do not stop fighting. Do not stop healing NO MATTER how much it hurts. Feel it and move on. On the days when you can not take another step take it anyway. Talk about it even if it is uncomfortable. Get it out so that one day when God sees fit to call you can answer with a confident YES! I turned down this big mission trip that I was super stoked about because I knew that I was not done with the hard things, but I am getting there and I am much closer than I was. It took me a minute or twenty to realize I needed to wait.
The Lord sent me to Psalm 71 this morning, and one verse I read said this, “Be my Rock of refuge to which I can always go…” One version translates it to say, “where I can always hide”. Ya see, I am learning the only place that is safe for me on the days I want to walk away from it all is in the arms of my Creator- my Jehovah, El Shaddai- God Almighty and this is why..
He deeply loves me.
The next time I look at myself in the mirror I want to see me like He does.
THAT is who I am. Can we, yes we, leave here with that truth? To the one who is struggling tonight- can you know that there is a God, my Father, who loves you so much and thinks you are awesome? My prayer is that whoever reads this will leave smiling, even if there are tears, knowing that whatever it is will be ok. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow but one day He will make all things right. He promises to do so.
I’m not crying- you are