Fear < The Love of God

Do you ever wonder how someone realized boiled eggs were a thing? What did they do? Say to themself, “Self, I think I will put this egg in a pot of boiling water and see what happens.” Makes sense does it not? Well, to me it does. Yes, these are the things that pop into my brain. Like when the waiter that is serving you is taking forever you then become the waiter. Deep. I think I got stuck on the boiled egg question, because that is what I have eaten every day this last week for breakfast. It has just gone down hill from there I do not really know how I go from boiled eggs to fifty percent of the word Canada has the letter “A” in it. I usually say just take me as I am, but I am not so sure I can take me today.

So, my friends and I are doing the Whole30 (this is where the eggs come into play) which really there is nothing thirty about it except I am going thirty days without cheese. Cheese. You did read it correctly. Today marks the second week of cooking and washing dishes. Those two go together. You cook. You wash a lot of dishes. Then you repeat all over again. This, my friends, is adulthood.

I have also been struggling today with the question of, “How can I love the Lord, and be afraid?” I was late for work again, and sometimes I feel like I am taking one step forward and four backwards. Ya know? Maybe you do. I am a Christian. I love the Lord. I make that known. And yet I struggle with fear. Overwhelming fear. Over and over again, I am commanded to not be afraid, but I am learning there are some things I can not just turn off. However, I can trust in the One who loves me above my faults, and rely on the strength that comes from Him. The truth is when I am weak, He is strong. He does hold my hand, and walks through it with me. He is my refuge and my shield. My protector before and behind. He’s got my back always. I know these things, my heart knows these things so why am I here? I do not mean on this blog. I obviously came to talk about boiled eggs and Canada. I mean, why am I here in this cave (I want to call it a cave) of fear? It almost feels like I have hung the pictures up, and dusted off the furniture so I could stay awhile. Because to go past it seems more scary than to just stay, and find something to watch on TV even though I have seen all of the reruns. I know that I am not alone in this, and to be totally honest with you sometimes is the hardest (and scariest), but if I do not say what the Lord has laid on my heart someone out there may just miss the words they need to read. Or I may just miss the words I need to read.

You are not your fear, and maybe you lose the battle more than you win, but here read this. What is true in the light is still true in the dark. Yes, I will repeat it.

What is true in the light is still true in the dark.

I mean, can we just take a look at Gideon, and the one million times he questioned God asking for signs? He was full of anxiety, and full of fear at what the Lord was telling him. How about David when his life was on the line with Saul? Then there is the disciples who feared the storm they were in. There are many many (yep, still meant to put many twice) who were afraid. They did not by any means back down, though. Gideon still went to battle with his three hundred men, and David eventually got away from Saul. And EVEN the disciples found peace in the One who calms the storms. But not in their own strength. That is the whole reason God was like, “Nah Gideon that is too many people to take to battle with you” because had they won when the odds were in their favor they would boast only in themselves.

Really it is not about whether I am afraid and I love him. It is about when I am afraid BECAUSE I love Him He comes to the rescue. Look! It says it right here.. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16 See, I have always read this, even memorized the chapter, and it was not until today really as I was reading through verses on fear someone sent me did I see it. In all of the honesty I can be with you this is it… it is not about me. It is about the One who, even when I am afraid, reaches down and grabs my hand and says, “Come on, kid. Let us do this together.” Because when we get to the other side I can say, “Because the Lord was with me I did not fear.” Don’t you just love His love? The I’ll go to the depths of the valley kind of love? Me too.