In The Waiting

“The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”❤️

Psalms 18:2

I have a list of new things to bring to the table today.

1. I moved into my new house with my roomie, Nichole. JD LOVES it!

2. Noname now has a name. Birdie.

3. I got my two fish back, Beau and Jehoshaphat.

3A. Ferdinand and Louelly departed to the toilet waters.

4. I rescued another fish from the Petco even though I said I was not leaving with another one. However there is just something about when you see the helpless little fella trying to swim. He reminds me much of my Ferd as he swims sideways. We have named him Lazarus just in case he raises back to life. I thought maybe he could use some motivation, and also it is one of my favorites in the Bible!

The goal ya know is to treat him back to health so he can avoid the toilet waters for now. I do not know what it is like to be flushed down the toilet, but I can only imagine it is like the water slides at the parks. That whole idea makes me nervous. Who ever said, “Yes, let us climb twelve million feet in the air only to slide down a humongous slide on a tube”? Not Thomas Edison!! I know that for a fact to be true.

I also know that I am not very good at waiting. This would be why I never won the hide and seek game, because I would always come out of my hiding place too soon only to race to “home”. I most of the time never knew that the person seeking was always very close to me and my spot I chose to hide in. The waiting period is hard especially when you’re a kid just trying to not get tagged. I guess it is also hard when adulthood comes along and you wait for promises to come that the Lord has said.

I read this scripture this morning in my car waiting to go inside for work. Psalm 62:5-7 says this, “Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.”

Let all that I am..wait quietly.

You see, my problem seems to be I am not very quiet in the waiting. “But God you said this and that and more of this”.. over and over again in my prayer time it seems like lately I have said these words. Anyone with me on that one? Come on, do not leave me hangin today. I remember while I was a client at Moriah House how one door was shut hard only for all of the other ones to open IN THE SAME WEEK! I was overwhelmed at the Lord’s provision. I went from jobless to a job as staff at MH. And a home. I had a place to live. I was no longer considered homeless. I had the opportunity to go to Honduras on a mission trip. I set my graduation date. Y’all. The same week! As soon as God closed the door I thought I was suppose to walk through a ton of blessings began to pour and before I knew it I was sitting in front of a ton of people celebrating life. Yes, life. And with life brought recovery. I know I know- I am still walking the recovery road, and I still fail at it but at least I’m still walking it. Basically, what I am trying to say is this.. my life two and a half years ago was not life. I was a dead woman walking in the chaos of my making, but God decided to work a miracle in my waiting.

He became the rock on which I stood, and the shelter where I could hide. No, not in isolation. I was hidden in Him, and the safety of the “bubble”. Sometimes, I need to be reminded that waiting is not so bad as it seems, because out there God is making and forming me into His likeness. And while the waiting seems crazy at times, I know I will look back one day at the progress we have made.

So, in starting 2019, the Lord is working while I am waiting for the promises to come. I probably look a little foolish waiting on what the world would call impossible. I think I am in good company seeing I am sure Sarah also looked a little goofy shopping for diapers at the age of 99. And Esther when she went before the king. Moses looked a little crazy too while he stood in front of Pharaoh, and how about Noah building a boat when it had not rained in forever? However, the Lord was faithful in all of those who were waiting. The list is endless.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (Abraham, Sara, Esther, etc..), let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning it’s shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus looked the most crazy of us all don’t ya think as he hung on the cross for us? Three days though went by in the waiting, and he rose and conquered death. Great things happen while waiting.. EVEN when it looks impossible. Even when none of it makes sense. God is working.. maybe even whistling while He works. I mean, I do not know, but He definitely could be.

Do not lose heart, my friend, in your seasons of difficult waiting.. God is on the move. He never sleeps. He never leaves. He is always working for our good. Yes. For our good.

Happy New Year, friends and family! Here is a picture of the pup just because.. 🙂