“He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” Psalm 91:4
You know on the tough days when you just want to throw in the towel (why do we throw towels?) and give up? I know you know that feeling. I also know that this post will not be all happy, and about little cute puppies or even cows. Sorry if that is what you are looking for. Actually, I am not apologizing. I am being honest and real. This is where I am. I believe I am right where I am suppose to be, so why not write from it?
A few days ago I went through a hard counseling session and after it I questioned a lot of things. I did. “God, are you for real bringing good from this? Do you know where I am? Do you see me in this mess? Where you at? And I know it ain’t between the A and the T.” I even have questioned walking away from this life that I now have. I know. That sounds horrible does it not? It does, but giving up somehow seems easier than walking through, because that is what I do.
This past week, I came across a verse in Exodus that says, “You have seen what I did to the Egyptians. You know how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself.” I did not know at the time that this verse would mean a lot to me especially today even as I am writing this. I did some research on the eagle, and one of my favorite things that I read told me that the eagle does not back down from his prey. He puts up a fight. When the enemy is after me better believe the One who carries me is not backing down. He is not giving up His ground, and when it becomes too scary He will cover me with His wings. He is doing so right now. That is the only thing that explains why I still have my towel, and I have not thrown it anywhere or at anyone.
Maybe I do run, but even in my running He swoops down, grabs me up, and takes me to higher ground. He is the shelter, the refuge, and the safe place where I can go. He is the reason not just for the season but for everything. When I question why am I doing this I have no answers. I know God does even if He is choosing not to say them right now. That is ok. I will continue to put one foot in front of the other like my Gran says until I get to the other side. And I know when I can not keep putting my feet together He will carry me through. If you have a towel and you are ready to throw it let me just say don’t give up, please. Do not throw it anywhere, because God is ready to rescue you and take you to higher ground. He will not back down, and I know He wants us to keep our towels. He is fighting for us. He does not give up on us, and I am proof of that today.
“In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft.” Deuteronomy 32:11
I know it is scary sometimes in the waiting. I know that it is hard, and putting one foot in front of the other is a bit impossible. It is on our part anyway. Truth is, though, we do not have to rely on our strength. Thank goodness for that! I know if I relied on my strength right now I would probably be somewhere I do not need to be. I think I am chasing those rabbits now, so I will just stop by saying this..
Let us hold on to our towels together. No throwing. No giving up. One foot in front of the other. Breathe. Repeat.