I have some news I would like to share. No, it is not really that important, but i am going to say it anyway. I think one of my fish is a girl. I almost said fishes. My sister would have come out of her seat on that one. Ok, stop right there. I will tell you about her.
She’s my twin. I was born first by one minute. No, we are not alike. We are different. I just always have someone to share my birthday with. She teaches high school English, and I am still waiting on a niece or nephew. One preferably that does not bark or meow. She is so funny, and happens to be my favorite sister even when she tells me she is the baby. It was one minute. Sixty seconds. I am not bitter – just sharing the struggle. Yes, we wear matching clothes still. Don’t hate. We may be different in a lot of ways, but one thing remains true and that is our love for each other. People use to tell me how they always wanted to be a twin, and for years I took it for granted. I would not trade her for all of the cows in the world, and if you know me that says a lot! Oh, today is cow day since we are talking about cows. It is my favorite day of the year, and the only day I have a real excuse to break out the cow stuff. I know what you are thinking and no I do not have my cow outfit on. That already happened. Ok, now we can keep going with what I really came here to say.
I am getting ready to go on a mission trip to Honduras, and I am so excited. I have waited a long time for this, and as the days get closer my heart gets fuller. This is what I was made to do. Love. Serve. Give. My heart breaks every time I watch a child walk out of these doors here. And I’ll be honest with you and tell you that it is very hard not to pull away from the other ones. I asked God why did He call me to love children, and the only answer I seem to be getting is why not? If I do not love them with all I have though then I do not really love. So, that is why when my favorite little boy catches my eye and takes off running arms wide open – I in return take off running arms wide open back. Why? Because he deserves to be loved big. I do believe that is why I am here, and I will continue to love no matter the cost that it brings.
“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10
I walked around a very long time not knowing what it was like to love. To really love someone, because I could never grasp the love that was given to me. One of the verses I have held on to comes from 1 Corinthians 14:1 and it says, “Let love be your highest goal”. I did not really know what that meant, but I started on a quest to find it. Here is what I got. Love is when you are sick for days, and your friend makes you her famous macaroni and cheese just because. Love is also when someone takes time out of their day once a week to come and pour into my life and hang in there with me. Love is standing in the gap when no one else will. It is getting a card in the mail with encouragement all over it. It is picking me up every weekend, and hanging out with me. It is letting me sit in silence with them when I have nothing to say. It is the prayers of people who care for me deeply. But for me to let love be my highest goal meant getting out of the way so I could be used by God. That still applies today. It is allowing Him to come in, and take over. I fail at this daily, but I am so thankful He carries on. He takes the broken pieces of the hurt that has been placed in my life and makes something beautiful of it. Because of love. You with me? Because of love. You see, many years ago, God let love win. It is that famous verse that says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son..” that sums it all up for us. He let love be His highest goal, and as a result I can live free. I can walk in peace. I can choose joy. I can love. No matter the cost, God is still good. And I believe that, because I know first hand that love is greater than any sin. It is greater than any addiction. And it is greater than any hopelessness. No matter what the enemy throws at me love wins.
Love will always win.
“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
P.S. It is really ok that my fish is a girl.