I can not sleep. I have said good night to all the ones I know, and I am left here alone. And while everyone else is off dreaming about baby cows (I hope) I am over here wondering how long it would take to travel to Ohio on foot. Have you ever been to Ohio? Me either. I have also never traveled anywhere too far without a vehicle. There is probably plenty of things to do, and many things to see. I do not know much about Ohio though so I could be wrong. Now that I got that off my chest (I have no idea why we say that) here is what is really on my heart.
“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” Psalm 37:23,24
You know that feeling when you mess up? That “oh no here I go again” feeling? Because for one moment or so, you take your eyes off and all of a sudden you think you are Batman? And you are far from Batman because truth is 1. Batman is not even real and 2. You can not do it on your own. I think I can, and twelve hundred sixty-four tries later and I still prove to myself I can not. What in my brain says, “Hey God I got this one”? I am so serious right now. If you could see my face you would know it, but reality is I just can not keep doing this. The hard truth that I figured out today was every time I choose something else to cope with my circumstances, I am telling God He is not enough. That is exactly what I am saying. So, why in the world would I want to be Batman when God is more than capable of handling all of it? I do not know why I asked that question when I already have the answer. It is like when God told Moses to lead His people out of Egypt and he does just that and they get there stuck in the middle of these crazy people coming after them and a whole lot of water. They freaked out. Why you ask? They took their eyes off of the One who parts the sea. But even in their Batman moments, He still delivered them. Yes, He did, because He loved them and He did not want them to suffer anymore. I love that story. I always and will continue to say that God did not part the seas for me – He gave me a boat and a paddle (just one) and all I hear over and over again is “trust me”.
- Trust Him in the bad and in the good.
- Trust Him in the dark and in the light.
- Trust Him in the middle of temptation.
- Trust Him when every thing is scary.
- Trust Him when I can not see the other side.
- Trust Him to be my strength when I am weak.
- Trust Him that He has it all under control.
- Trust Him to get my boat across that sea.
“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10
You see, I will never have any of it under control. I will always have to lean on the ever lasting arms of my Father. It is when I do not that I find myself face down on the floor trying to find my way back up. But even in my Batman moments, He still delivers. He grabs my hand, and gently brings me back to my feet. Besides, it is not in the falling down but in the getting back up that counts. So, tonight while every one else is sleeping I will tell God all about my day, because He is still awake, too. He never sleeps, and He wants to know even these things. I am laying down my cape tonight, and I am just going to trust in the fact that I do not have to have it all figured out. He has it. He always has it.
“Indeed, He who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.” Psalm 121:4
Also, for those wondering it would take 192 hours or eight days to get to Ohio. That is what google map says, but that thing can never be trusted!
Good night family and friends. ❤