Have you ever been in a place of sadness covered in exhaustion that no matter what you do you can not shake it? I only ask this, because I am there today. To be honest, I do not feel like writing, but someone once told me that is when I am suppose to do it. I do not know if that person was wise or not, but I also have no idea if that really matters in this situation. I write because I want to share hope, and also why would I just allow you in on the good? Do not worry I will not share my biggest fear or the pain that I struggle with just yet. I will however share with you that I could not figure out my coffee pot this morning or find a jacket in the rush hour of trying to get ready for church. In my meltdown, I realized that the coffee pot was not plugged in and that a monster probably ate my jacket. I also figured out that God is present in my meltdowns. He is present in my sadness. He is present in my exhaustion. I choose to believe this even when I do not feel it. God is greater than my feelings, and His promise reigns true. He will never leave me even when I can not find my jacket and I cry about it.
Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything. 1 John 3:20
On the way to church this morning, I found myself in tears as I listened to the words of a song I have heard over and over again. It hit right where my joy should have been, and it encouraged the very depth of my soul. I do not know what was going on in the lives of King and Country when they wrote this song, but I do know what is going on in mine. Here is what I heard…
“It’s not over yet.
Keep on fighting.
Out of the dark into the light.
Hope is rising.
Never give in.
Never give up.”
(I do not think it was talking about finding my jacket-I gave up on that one) I love when a song hits home to me past the wall I put up and takes off straight to my heart strings. It is there where the most healing takes place. I do not think today will just be all that wonderful now, but I found a little more hope to keep fighting out of the dark. To me, that is a win. I came across another song that talked about truth. I do not know about you, but every day I have to tell myself the truth. Most days, it is after the fight of believing once again another lie. The lie that this sadness, and this exhaustion is here to stay, but the voice of truth tells me a different story. (Casting Crowns sings that just in case you did not know) I want to hear that story today. I kind of want to apologize for this post not being all happy and go lucky, but then I would not be me. And this right here is Sara. No H. Uncovered and today no, I am not ashamed.
I will close this just by saying that if you have seen my jacket anywhere please send it back to me.